Against Me! is a band formed in 1997 initially as a solo act by musician Laura Jane Grace (who performed under her birth name until coming out as transgender in 2012). They’ve had several incarnations since forming, with the most constant members being Grace and her high school friend James Bowman, who joined in 2002 in time to record the band’s first CD, Against Me! Is Reinventing Axl Rose, an aggressive, drunken DIY folk-punk record that was hailed as an instant classic in the anarcho-punk circles. It included “Pints of Guinness Make You Strong” (about Grace’s grandparents and is still a concert staple), “Walking Is Still Honest”, and former encore closer “We Laugh at Danger (and Break All the Rules)”.
The band then signed with Fat Wreck Chords in 2003 to release their 2nd album Against Me! as the Eternal Cowboy, with a lineup now consisting of Grace, Bowman, bassist Andrew Seward (marking his first appearance) and drummer Warren Oakes, who had joined a year prior just in time to record Reinventing Axl Rose. This 2nd album saw a mixture of their signature (for the time) folk-punk style (as seen in singles “Sink, Florida, Sink” and “Cavalier Eternal”), as well as more traditional punk rock songs like “Cliché Guevara”, “T.S.R.” and even touching on hardcore with Grace’s rapid-fire vocal delivery in “You Look Like I Need a Drink”.
2005 saw the release of their 3rd album, Searching for a Former Clarity. They added even more experimentation for this release (the song “Miami” is a rant about said city that wouldn’t sound out of place on a Dropkick Murphys record) and the title track, a sparse acoustic ballad about a person dying of AIDS that just happened to have fantasies of wearing women’s clothing - one of the first major hints about Grace’s gender dysphoria - though it would be far from the last.
Against Me! did what is always considered to be controversial in punk rock - sign to a major label - in late 2006, to release New Wave in 2007. For this album they enlisted the services of producer Butch Vig, shed most traces of their folk-punk beginnings and traded it in for a polished, glossy heavy rock album. Highlights include the title track, along with Against Me!’s highest-charting single to date “Thrash Unreal”, the dance-y pop-punk stylings of “Stop!”, “Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart”, a slower rock song featuring guest vocals by Tegan Quin of Canadian sister duo Tegan and Sara, and finally, the introspective “The Ocean”, where Grace more or less outed herself without actually outing herself in the song’s 2nd verse (“If I could’ve chosen/I would’ve been born a woman/My mother once told me she would’ve named me Laura/I’d grow up to be strong and beautiful like her/One day I’d find an honest man to make my husband”). She had written this song subconsciously and everyone assumed it wasn’t literal.
2010 saw the release of White Crosses. it was the first AM! record to not include Warren Oakes on drums; he departed in 2008 and was replaced by George Rebelo of the band Hot Water Music. White Crosses was also produced by Butch Vig and was even glossier. There were less lyrical references to Grace’s dysphoria than in the past, but did see the light in songs like “Spanish Moss” and “Bamboo Bones” in the form of metaphors. The album’s other highlights include the staunch pro-choice title song as well as “I Was a Teenage Anarchist” in which Grace rebukes her past as she had now realized her beginnings were when she was just an angry 19-year-old kid who thought she knew everything and thought she was a rebel, and also “High Pressure Low”, another political song that throws shade at Robert McNamara.
In 2011, Grace began writing lyrics to what was described as a “concept record about a transsexual prostitute” entitled Transgender Dysphoria Blues. Around this time though, Grace’s dysphoria had begun hitting her harder than it ever had before. The band ended up cancelling tour dates while they attempted to figure out where to go from there. Additionally, George Rebelo left the band to go back to Hot Water Music. He was replaced with Jay Weinberg.
Getting inspiration from a devoted fan she had met, Grace decided to reveal the truth in early 2012; first to her family, then to her band, and finally, to the general public in an article in Rolling Stone. In the article, Grace basically told her entire life story to that point, from wanting Barbie dolls as a kid and having fantasies about being Madonna, to her teenage years where she frequently got in trouble with the law and started using numerous drugs because she was in so much mental agony from gender dysphoria. While gaining acceptance by her band, her personal life did take a nasty turn; she had a severe suicidal breakdown in 2013 which led to a suicide attempt via pills and alcohol, then found out her suicidal thoughts were being caused by a reaction to her hormone therapy that gave her a parasitic intestinal infection. Once that was cleared up, her wife, whom she’d married several years previous and had a daughter with, decided she wanted a divorce. At this time Grace also moved from St. Augustine, FL to Chicago, not only to get away from her now-ex, but also in Chicago it’s considerably easier for trans people to get the help they need than it is in Florida. To this day Grace is technically homeless as she shares a 1-room apartment with her manager now. But she hasn’t let these setbacks stop her.
In January 2014, after numerous delays and re-recordings (including the amicable departure of Andrew Seward, and the not-so-amicable departure of Jay Weinberg), Transgender Dysphoria Blues finally saw the light of day. For this album Atom Willard (ex-drummer for Rocket from the Crypt, Angels & Airwaves and The Offspring) became a full-time member. Laura Jane Grace ended up handling bass duties on the album apart from two songs (which featured NOFX frontman and friend of the band Fat Mike). Soon after, ex-(International) Noise Conspiracy bassist Inge Johansson became the new full-time bassist and Against Me! was once again a four-piece. A rejuvenated AM! toured extensively in support of the album which received rave reviews from critics for being bold, in your face and bringing to light the issues transgender people face, ranging from subjects like separation from someone you were close to before (“F***MYLIFE666”), false perceptions about trans people (the title track), pretending to be someone you’re not in order to be accepted (“Drinking With the Jocks”), gender dysphoria and the mental effects it causes (the title track, “Unconditional Love” and the hard-hitting “Paralytic States”), plus the album’s signature song “True Trans Soul Rebel” and finally an angry rant against a controlling person in “Black Me Out”. As a bonus the album also contains a tribute to Grace’s friend John Paul Allison, known by his nickname Pope (“Dead Friend”), as well as an acoustic ballad where Grace talks to her daughter Evelyn about mortality (“Two Coffins”).
This brings me to the concert itself. I know literally nothing about either of the two opening bands, but both were decent enough. By the time AM! came on I was in the front of the audience stage right, in front of Inge, so I ended up hearing a ton of bass and almost nothing else. I couldn’t really hear Laura sing at all apart from a few of the quieter songs. They turn the instruments up so loud that hearing is near impossible. During many of the faster songs I was being shoved so hard against the stage I thought I’d faint, thankfully I never did. I’ll say, singing along to all of the gender identity-related songs with 800 others was cathartic as heck and something I really needed to do and hopefully I get another chance because I’ll need it again. Also singing “Black Me Out” and imagining all the a-holes I’ve ever met standing right in front of me instead of my new favorite band and literally telling them to f*** off at the top of my lungs is the best feeling ever.
The cutest moment of the whole show came when Laura started the encore with a rough solo cover of “Wagon Wheel” (yes, that one) which she played by the request of a girl that was there for her 8th birthday. I had saw the girl’s sign when I was standing in line and thought to myself, “yeah, that’s a long shot”. I’ll go eat my nonexistent hat now. Dang it Laura. You melted my angry, bitter heart, but you also rock for making that kid’s night. After the show was over I had hoped to get a copy of the typed setlist but that didn’t happen. What did happen afterwards though, was something I never would’ve thought about happening. I’d gone to the merch table to buy a copy of their new live record and then a guy that was behind me in the audience all night got to talking to me. I think he sensed that me being this half-pint standing in front against the stage getting shoved from behind and kicked in the head by stage divers all night meant that I was super-devoted to AM! and yeah, I am. So he felt that it wasn’t right for him to keep the Laura Jane Grace-autographed guitar pick that she’d used in the concert, and gave it to me instead. That alone could’ve easily been the best thing ever, but that was topped several minutes later.
Laura came out and talked to those of us standing in front of the venue, posing for pictures and signing autographs as well. Sadly I got neither of the latter two things because I didn’t have a marker plus the camera in my phone is awful (no flash, plus I have to send pics to my email address in order to even get them on my computer at all). But hey... I did get a handshake. That was cool. I told her the show was awesome and she said thanks. Dad was waiting for me at the same exact time so I felt a bit rushed because I had to leave. I really did want a few more seconds with her. I know she would’ve been cool with that. I really hope I can have another opportunity in the future, and hopefully not be as rushed by my dad next time? We’ll see.
Lastly, the setlist:
True Trans Soul Rebel, Pints of Guinness Make You Strong, Unconditional Love, Walking Is Still Honest, Cliche Guevara, You Look Like I Need a Drink, White People for Peace, F***MYLIFE666, Transgender Dysphoria Blues, White Crosses, Spanish Moss (demo version), Two Coffins, Bamboo Bones, T.S.R., Pretty Girls, Thrash Unreal, The Ocean, Black Me Out, I Was a Teenage Anarchist, Encore: Wagon Wheel, New Wave, Drinking With the Jocks, Sink Florida Sink
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